It is almost 10 AM. I’m looking around my office as I am waiting for my new client to arrive. I hope it is inviting, calming, welcoming. As I prepare to meet her in person I am thinking of our phone call – She answered my question briefly:
“I have been to therapy before. I have anxiety” She tells me on the phone.
3 words – I have anxiety…
Will I be able to help her? Will we connect? Questions flow to my head as I await. First session is like a blind date, me trying to get to know her; What is her story? Why is she here? Who is important in her life? What is her anxiety about? What is she afraid of?
As the door to the waiting room opens, she walks in, hesitating. I welcome her and as I close the door behind us, I am in my domain, focused, alert, interested.
First session is a bit like dancing a tango. I recently watched a tango show and fell in love with it. The couple on stage is dancing in such a graceful, intimate synchrony. As I was taken by the performance I noticed that one leads as the dance partner trustingly joins and follows. The result – masterful. Breath taking.
We settle in and I ask her what brings her to me. From here on, the conversation flows quickly. I navigate to learn about her life, past and present, her family, relationships. We talk, reflect, at times a tear shows in the corner of her eye as she shares a memory.
Too soon our time is up.
As she gets up she reflects “I can’t believe how much I told you”. I am relieved to realize that she felt known. Understood.
I know that like in tango, therapy is a mixture of skill, experience and trust.
Here in my therapy room today, as she leaves, I hope it is a beginning of a relationship.